This is something you should expect as a new parent – you will get a ton of advice from people around you. Some of those might come in handy, while some should be heard and then ignored. Here’s a few myths about parenting that I can tell you- just are not true!
As a new parent, it can be difficult to know what is true and what not to believe. To help you prepare for being a parent, let’s debunk some popular myths that you should know:-
- Picking your child up when he/she cries is not a good practice.
Most (grand)parents will tell you that you are spoiling your child too much if you pick them up each time they cry. In reality, you are allowed to do anything that soothes your newborn.
Once they are a bit older than six months, you can allow them to find other ways to entertain/soothe themselves. Until then, it’s necessary to do anything that helps them feel that you are there to help them.
- Mothers should be calm, grateful and confident.
A lot of people think that parenting is about having 100% control of your child’s and your own life. No matter how many times you have stepped into the role of parenthood, each time is a learning curve. Your hormones are on a roller coaster, you’re deciding whether to breast feed or formula feed. You are now shedding your hair at a rapid rate (postpartum hairless). Your body is no longer creating another life, but yet still does not yet feel like your own.
It is okay to cry in the shower for no reason. It is okay to feel so many different emotions and to not know why. The people who love you will be happy to take some burden off of you on some days. Make sure to communicate with those around you how you are feeling. Never feel guilty about letting go of some of the control sometimes.
- If your kid doesn’t look happy, you are messing up.
Parenting is not about your child smiling each minute of the day and never feeling down. As any other human being, remember that your child is allowed to be sad on some days.
Even if you do your best, your child can cry and whine sometimes. Babies have fears, sad thoughts too, and that makes them cry which is out of your control. When they are having those days, try to comfort them, provide support in the ways that you know how.
- Birthing a healthy baby brings closure to all prior pregnancy related losses.
This is one of the biggest parenting myths that only someone who has never experienced a pregnancy loss would dare say. You grieved for that loss, you bonded with that baby, no matter how long you were pregnant for.
Yes, bringing a new life into the world provides an indescribable amount of joy to your life, but it doesn’t not erase any previous grieving you have experienced.
- Parenting is a naturally easy thing to do, once you’re a parent you just know…
Who in the world started this life? Absolutely freaking NOT! I have had 4 kids and each one has sent me into a tailspin to figure them out and how to do this parenthood journey. Parenting is a constant learning curve, each kid has different preferences, likes and dislikes.
Parenting is hard, really freaking hard. No one is doing it perfectly and no one has all the answers. Lean on your mom tribe, communicate with your partner, use resources available to you.