Hi Friends! This is a guest post from my friend Chelsea! You can read more about her over at
I Don’t Have Mom Guilt
I contemplated for a while if I should keep this title. I truly thought in between diaper changes and
midnight feedings a band of fellow mothers would come have me burned at the stake, just after reading
the title alone. Mom guilt is talked about so much among us offspring makers, how can I sit here and tell
others that I don’t have it? Now, mind you, it isn’t to say that I am perfect and have done nothing as a
mother to make me feel guilty, it just isn’t a resounding feeling for me as it seems to often be for others.
I didn’t consciously realize this little fact about myself until the other day when I was reading yet
another “mom guilt” blog post. I sat there and actually prayed for God to humble me. Was I not being
true to myself? Why did I hear so much about this said mom guilt but really not seem to be feeling it?
A few days later it all became clear.
It was an early Thursday morning and the mom guilt questions I’d been having had long left my mind.
My daughter had woken up a little later than normal and was soaking wet when I went in to get her. I
hated when I’d come in to her all wet and messy, but she never seemed upset about it, just happy I’d
come to get her. Without another thought, I picked her up, stripped her down, and drew her a bath. She
had been doing so good sitting up recently that I decided it was a great day to take out the infant piece
in her tiny bath tub. She was even holding on to things beside her to help her sit upright so I had little
worries about this next big step.
I filled the tub with warm water, a few bath toys, and got the washcloth and soaps ready. I was telling
her the whole time how excited she was going to be and that I had a big surprise for her (even though
she is six months old and I could have told her she would be bathing with an alligator and she wouldn’t
have known the difference). I was getting so excited to see how much she would enjoy sitting in the
bathtub. I just knew she was going to love it. I sat in the floor next to her bathtub and lowered her into
the water. She bent her legs, sitting down ever carefully onto her tiny bum. I slowly let go of her so she
could sit up, staying close to help her hold onto the sides if she needed. Boom! In a split second the
slippery tub and her naked heiney collided and she slipped into the water, slightly hitting her head on
the tub, and going almost completely underwater. I scooped her soaking wet self into my arms
immediately, thoroughly wetting my clothes, and held her close. She was crying a bit but quickly calmed.
She seemed to be content since she was now in my arms. “I’m sorry sweet girl,” I told her, “Mommy’s
never done this before. I’m doing the best I can. I love you.”
And that is when it hit me!
The second those words escaped my mouth I knew why I’ve never really felt the looming “mom guilt.” I
didn’t allow it! I never knew I was doing this though! I quickly realized it was a mindset my mother had
put in my head years and years ago when I was a little girl. All moms make mistakes, my mom made
mistakes. I don’t ever remember specific things she did “wrong,” but I’m sure there were days when she
felt like she was struggling at the trying role of motherhood. What I do specifically remember, though,
are the days when she would say to my brother and I, “I’m sorry. I’ve never done this before.” I always
remember wondering why she would say it, but I also remember understanding what she meant. She’d
never been a mommy before; this was all new.
As a mother those words run so very deep now. We are all new at this, whether we have one child or
ten, everyday is new, every stage is new, every second is brand new. And every time another child is
born into a family it is a brand new dynamic. Every day is a day in the life of that mom, and those
children, that has never presented itself before. There are going to be challenges, there are going to be
struggles, but give yourself a break mamas, because after all, you’ve never done this before.
Read more about Chelsea, her sweet baby girl and her marriage to her best friend over at And Then Life!